As rock solid as Taylor Lautner's yummy abs...

"Gov. Chris Christie keeps saying he's not running for president. On the other hand, he would consider running for Santa." –David Letterman



"Marcus Bachmann wrote an open letter to conservatives describing his wife Michele as 'rock solid.' It probably didn't help that he then added, 'As rock solid as Taylor Lautner's yummy abs.'" –Conan O'Brien



"Arnold Schwarzenegger ordered three statues of himself. Which seemed weird, because I thought he had a much more fun way to make duplicates of himself." –Conan O'Brien



"President Obama was heckled by a protestor who called him 'the Antichrist.' The protestor was detained, but released without being charged, and then later he was offered his own show on Fox News." –Jay Leno

John Hulse painting