I never said I was a geology major...

"Rick Perry said America's revolutionary war was fought in the 16th century. When told it was actually the 18th century, Perry apologized and said, 'I never said I was a geology major.'" –Conan O'Brien



"At the last Republican debate, the candidates were seated according to how they've been doing in the polls. So Jon Huntsman was seated next to Tim Pawlenty at a Denny's across the street." –Conan O'Brien 


"At one point, Rick Santorum was interrupted by a gay heckler. But then Michele Bachmann told her husband, 'Just shut up and sit down.'" –Jay Leno






"Police were using pepper spray on the Wall Street protesters. That's scary. What if they're spraying them with condiments so the rich people can enjoy eating them?" –Craig Ferguson