he shampoos his hair and then skips conditioner completely (Plan A)

"The U.S. Ambassador to Iraq said today he was not aware of any plan B strategy by our government for Iraq. Of course there's no plan B. We don't have a plan A." --Jay Leno

"John Edwards has a new TV commercial touting him as a tough guy. His wife says he has unbelievable toughness. And he is tough. Like in the ad, sometimes it says he shampoos his hair and then skips conditioner completely." --Jay Leno

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

You know what they found the last time Bush had a colonoscopy? (His Head)

"Tomorrow, President Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy. You know what they found the last time Bush had a colonoscopy? His head." --Jay Leno

"While he is under, they will temporarily transfer power to Dick Cheney. Well, good luck getting that power back. By noon tomorrow, he will have invaded Iran, Syria and Malibu." --Jay Leno

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

a very cheap way to go after the Southern vote (a woman and a black teenager)

"Rudy Giuliani is probably going to be the next president of the United States because it's all about image. He's got the big anti-terrorist image. On January 20, 2009, you may very well be welcoming to the White House Rudy Giuliani and his lovely wife ... whoever that may be at the time. Giuliani's first wife was his cousin. I'm not making that up. I think that's a very cheap way to go after the Southern vote." --Bill Maher

"On the Democratic side, the only two candidates who could not actually run together on a ticket are Hillary [Clinton] and Barack Obama, because that's too much non-male whiteness for America. And the Republicans would have a field day if they ran together. First, Bush would call like twelve fake terror alerts. And then the Republicans would run a series of ads about how terrorism is happening now again ... and this is no time to trust the country to a woman and a black teenager." --Bill Maher

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

That alone should disqualify a person from any higher office (in the same sentence)

"The comedy Gods are smiling on me tonight. I have been saying for the longest time that President Bush must set a timetable for removing his head from his ass. And by God, today they went in and looked for it. At least for once in our lifetimes, we saw the words 'Bush,' 'operation,' and 'success' in the same sentence." --Bill Maher, on Bush's colonoscopy

"Rudy Giuliani ... actually brags on the campaign trail that on 9/11, as the towers are going down, he turns to his super corrupt chief of police and said, 'Thank God George Bush is president.' That alone should disqualify a person from any higher office." --Bill Maher

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

If I had to sum it up in one cheese, I guess it would stilton. No, no, fontina

   

"An ass-scope has still not been invented to plum the depths of the s---hole that we've created in Iraq. But it is time for an update courtesy of our ambassador to the country, Ryan Crocker. Of course, he's over in Baghdad, so he gave his testimony to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee via a 60-inch plasma TV screen. [on screen: Crocker using 'fear' as his one word to sum up the situation in Iraq]. If I had to sum it up in one cheese, I guess it would stilton. No, no, fontina." --Jon Stewart

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

the polyps who were removed began asking questions (where the Cheney administration ranks)

"The president had five polyps removed from his lower intestines. And here's the interesting part: they were removed for political reasons. Apparently, these polyps were not loyal Bushies and had to be replaced by more appropriate, die hard Republican polyps. Apparently, the polyps who were removed began asking questions as to why they were removed, but it was too late." --Jon Stewart

"Well, certainly this was a vast improvement over Cheney's first term during President Bush's 2002 colonoscopy. As you know, the president only has medical procedures at times the vice president is not having them. And, as it happens, Cheney was being operated on continually for the last five years." --Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee, asked where the Cheney administration ranks

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

with Dick Cheney as president, he had the power to turn good thoughts bad (failed everyone who'd ever loved you)

     

"For a couple of hours on Saturday morning Dick Cheney was the president. President Bush underwent a colonoscopy and while he was under anesthesia, his powers were officially transferred to the vice president. Did you feel it? Did you know he was the president? 

It might've not been obvious. There might've not been a thunder clap. You might not have seen, let's say, your neighbor's eyes bleeding. But you might've, I don't know, had a vague feeling as you were making your coffee on Saturday morning that you'd failed everyone who'd ever loved you. And you didn't know why you were feeling that. 

It was, perhaps, because with Dick Cheney as president, he had the power to turn good thoughts bad." --Jon Stewart

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans