there was a party that featured robot strippers (It's fun to get a video chat from your dog)

Last night at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, there was a party that featured robot strippers. They said the annoying thing about robot strippers is when you give them a dollar, you have to make sure it's not crinkled and facing the right way. --Jimmy Fallon

I read about a company that's working on technology that would let your pet video chat with you. It's fun to get a video chat from your dog, but depressing to watch your cat decline your call. --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

900 iPods (sex robots) And I want to you get real hot!

Apparently this will even go beyond sex, and you’ll actually be able to seduce the robots. What? The whole point of having sex with a robot is that you don’t have to seduce it! I don’t talk my microwave into heating up my coffee. “I’m going to put this cup of coffee inside you for about 90 seconds, OK? And I want to you get real hot!” –James Corden

It’s going to be awkward when the robots need repairs. Do you just show up to the Genius bar with a human-sized duffel bag like, “Hey, uh . . . this is 900 iPods.” –James Corden

A study published in the journal Menopause revealed that as they age, women tend to have better memories than men. There is no way this is true. Back when I was single, every woman I met in a bar couldn’t even remember her own phone number. They were always giving me the wrong ones by accident. –James Corden

instead of texting “U up?” you’ll be texting “U on?” (Good luck with that)

Today was the American Cancer Society’s Great American Smokeout event, which encourages people to stop smoking and help their loved ones do the same. That’s right, quit smoking a week after Trump was elected. Good luck with that. –James Corden

Now, I am all for anti-smoking campaigns but the Great American Smokeout just makes it sound like a really fun barbecue. They should call it something like “The Great American Oh My God, Please Stop, You Are Going to Die.” –James Corden

There’s exciting news from the world of technology, experts say that in the future sex with robots will become so popular that it could replace sex with humans by 2050. So, basically, in the very near future, instead of texting “U up?” you’ll be texting “U on?” –James Corden

Trump interviews Ben from “The Bachelor” for secretary of defense

A woman has been charged with filing a false police report after posting that she had been kidnapped on Facebook. People grew suspicious when the woman “liked” her own kidnapping. –Conan O’Brien

Ben from “The Bachelor” has called off his wedding. Apparently, Donald Trump wants to interview him for secretary of defense. –Conan O’Brien

An artificially intelligent sex robot is expected to hit the market next year. Because that’s what guys want in a sex robot — intelligence. –Conan O’Brien