instead of texting “U up?” you’ll be texting “U on?” (Good luck with that)

Today was the American Cancer Society’s Great American Smokeout event, which encourages people to stop smoking and help their loved ones do the same. That’s right, quit smoking a week after Trump was elected. Good luck with that. –James Corden

Now, I am all for anti-smoking campaigns but the Great American Smokeout just makes it sound like a really fun barbecue. They should call it something like “The Great American Oh My God, Please Stop, You Are Going to Die.” –James Corden

There’s exciting news from the world of technology, experts say that in the future sex with robots will become so popular that it could replace sex with humans by 2050. So, basically, in the very near future, instead of texting “U up?” you’ll be texting “U on?” –James Corden