I’m picturing rich couples using other people as furniture (the wedgies will be gluten-free)

August 2021

“The infrastructure bill includes funding to eliminate Amtrak’s maintenance backlog and modernize the north-east corridor line so north-east commuters will have beautiful new seats for Rangers fans to puke on, as well as provisions for electric school buses. And to make it even more environmentally friendly, the bullies will shoot spitballs at you with paper straws, and the wedgies will be gluten-free.” —Stephen Colbert

“The Senate also approved a $3.5 Trillion budget plan that would expand healthcare, provide free preschool and community college, and fund climate change programs. The measure was approved after a rapid-fire series of votes called a ‘vote-a-rama’ that lasted more than 14 hours; some Senators even brought extra padding for their chairs to make the time more comfortable. The chairs were padded with only the softest material – cotton, goose down, Ted Cruz’s spine.” —Stephen Colbert

“The Senate also approved Biden’s $3.5 Trillion budget plan to expand social services, healthcare and climate change programs. That’s giant. Biden’s spending money like his Gap rewards just kicked in. Biden calls it the Human Infrastructure Plan – not really crazy about the term ‘human infrastructure’. I’m picturing rich couples using other people as furniture.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which made sense, since trolls love bridges (Nancy Pelosi’s podium)

August 2021

“The Senate has passed Biden’s $1.2 Trillion infrastructure bill. To put that into perspective, if you took 1.2 trillion one dollar bills and laid them end to end, they’d make better roads than what we’re driving on right now. Nineteen Republicans joined all Senate Democrats in favor of the measure. The last time that many Republicans crossed the aisle in Congress, it was to steal Nancy Pelosi’s podium.” —Stephen Colbert

“Even the Senate minority leader, Mitch McConnell, voted for the legislation, which made sense, since trolls love bridges.” —Stephen Colbert

“Still, the passage of funding for bridges, roads and rail travel isn’t some huge achievement. It’s the bare minimum we expect! Senates always pass the road bill – infrastructure spending is a great American tradition that goes all the way back to when Washington paved the Delaware.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So after they finish LaGuardia, that’ll leave us with about 40 bucks (When can Cuomo start?)

August 2021

“In less terrestrial news, the billionaire Tesla CEO, Elon Musk, announced plans to put billboards in space. No, Elon, no Mankind gazes up to the stars to wonder ‘What’s up there? What’s my place in the universe?’ Not, ‘What would you do for a Klondike bar?’” —Stephen Colbert

“Meanwhile, the Senate passed Biden’s $1.2 Trillion infrastructure bill on Tuesday in a major victory for the administration. That’s right, a trillion dollars to fix our roads, bridges and airports. So after they finish LaGuardia, that’ll leave us with about 40 bucks.” —Jimmy Fallon

“And in Florida, where the number of Covid cases are surging once again, the governor, Ron DeSantis, has threatened to withhold pay from any school officials who require masks indoors. I’m nervous about DeSantis. I mean, right now, people in Florida are like, ‘When can Cuomo start?’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”