Say what you want about her, but she’s really earning that participation trophy (there's a pretty good chance you’re getting on stage!)

“This weekend, former President Trump won the Republican primary by 20 points in Nikki Haley’s home state of South Carolina. But Haley is still refusing to drop out of the race. Say what you want about her, but she’s really earning that participation trophy.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, Trump won South Carolina by 20 points. They like him down there. He looks like a guy who fell asleep on Myrtle Beach, doesn’t he?” — Jimmy Fallon

“Trump actually had two versions of his speech — a victory speech in case he won, and a victory speech in case he lost.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Trump won in South Carolina by a large margin among voters without a college degree – he does well with non-educated voters. Absolutely dominates among voters who have been hit on the head with a boulder or a falling brick. Nikki Haley vowed to continue her campaign, as she’s ‘a woman of my word’. And that word is denial. For anyone confused as to why she’s still running, I’ll spell it out: it’s because the guy she is competing against has 91 criminal charges against him – in New York, in Florida, in Washington and in Georgia. That’s why she’s staying in it. It’s like being Charlie Sheen’s understudy in a Broadway play – pretty good chance you’re getting on stage!” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Primaries are kind of like marriages. The first two or three don't really count. (naked coffins)

"Florida is the big one for the Republicans. In fact, Florida is the first state where Rudy Giuliani is seriously campaigning. See, for Giuliani, primaries are kind of like marriages. The first two or three don't really count." --Jay Leno

"Have you heard this report that Iran and Syria have been printing counterfeit $100 bills in order to ruin the U.S. economy? Hey, you're about four years too late, okay? You know, if the Iranians really want to ruin our economy, make TVs and cars. That's what the Japanese did." --Jay Leno

"There's another big story that happened last night. It was the Democratic debate in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. All the candidates were there. All the candidates were at the top of their game. None more so than Hillary Clinton. Here she is engaging with the other candidates, using all the powers of persuasion -- waving, smiling, and of course, using her heat vision. It took a little while to put Barack's suit out. Between  Hillary and Obama, there were some huge fireworks last night after they started playing a game called 'Reagan.' It's kind of fun. Each of the Democratic candidates accuses the other one of saying they like Ronald Reagan and then the other candidate plays back by breaking a bottle and trying to cut out your eyeball." --Stephen Colbert