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Showing posts with label Martin Short. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Martin Short. Show all posts

Thursday, September 10, 2026

I did make my connection (tying the record previously set by me)


An American Airlines passenger was duct taped after hurling racist and homophobic slurs during a midair meltdown. And for anyone wondering, I did make my connection. --Greg Gutfeld 


After decades of no activity, the giant geyser in Yellowstone Park just erupted 200 feet tall for over an hour, tying the record previously set by me when I found my father's Playboy magazine. --Greg Gutfeld 


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

When have you ever said something like that about somebody and then changed your mind? (It was four, but OJ died)


Hello, I’m Martin Short and I’ll be taking over as guest host of Jimmy’s show for the week while he’s on vacation. Jimmy isn’t here, but was he ever really? There was always something missing behind his eyes. But Jimmy needs a break – if there’s anyone who deserves the summer off after working hard all year, it’s talkshow hosts and teachers, in that order. —Martin Short


I guess Jimmy would begin his monologue talking about Donald Trump. I guess you can’t go to Outback Steakhouse without ordering the Bloomin’ Onion. Trump has said he is close to naming his running mate, having narrowed down the field to three people. It was four, but OJ died. —Martin Short


What a choice Trump has in his tiny little hands. The first pick is Doug Burgum, governor of North Dakota, who sounds like the name of your most annoying co-worker. Then there’s Senator Marco Rubio of Florida, who once called Trump a con artist. Or should we go to doormat No 3, Ohio senator JD Vance, who said he thought Trump was either a cynical asshole like Nixon or America’s Hitler. When have you ever said something like that about somebody and then changed your mind? —Martin Short


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”