"Muslims all over the
Middle East are rioting in the streets. These are one billion of the touchiest
people I have ever seen on my TV. The latest target of their rage, of course,
is Pope Benedict XVI. Last Tuesday, the Pope gave a speech and quoted 14th
century Byzantine emperor Manuel Paleologos II, who said that everything
introduced by Islam is 'evil and inhuman.' Well I say, don't back down your
Holy Pope 'cause it's true -- what did they give us? Optics, hydraulic
engineering, algebra. There's not an eighth grader in the world who would
convict you, sir." --Stephen Colbert
"This is weird. The
state of Texas has put webcams on the Mexican border so people can sit at their
home computers and look for illegal aliens trying to cross into the U.S. The
website is free, but it costs $5 if you want the illegal aliens to talk dirty
to you." --Conan O'Brien
"The man who founded
the Hooters restaurant chain has passed away at the age of 69. In honor of his
passing, former President Bill Clinton flew his pants at half mass." --Jay
Leno
