Or, as I like to refer to it, ‘America’s Got Treason.’ (They're Coming for Your P*nis!)

June 2022

“The January 6th committee hearings will be televised beginning this Thursday — or, as I like to refer to it, ‘America’s Got Treason.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Let’s poke some fun at CNN, which is, according to an internal memo, stepping back from overhyping everything as ‘breaking news’. Which means overhyping everything is now up for grabs, so we have breaking news. Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you shocked and terrified to report that what I am saying right now means nothing. It is all a false sense of urgency created to keep you captivated long enough to get to the next Lipitor commercial.” —Stephen Colbert

“The cable news network, which recently hired the Late Show showrunner Chris Licht to replace its ousted chief executive, Jeff Zucker, plans to cut back on the breaking news graphic because ‘its impact has become lost on the audience’ and CNN should be focused on ‘informing, not alarming’ viewers. And with CNN out of the game they’ll leave plenty of alarming for the folks over at Fox News. In fact, they are now counter-programming with Tucker Carlson’s new show Look Out! Gay Immigrants Are Coming for Your Penis!” —Stephen Colbert

“Louie Gohmert, the Republican congressman from Texas who spoke out against the indictment of former Trump adviser Peter Navarro by complaining Republicans can’t lie to Congress or the F.B.I. Gohmert is upset because some of his fellow Republicans are getting hit with contempt charges for refusing to cooperate with the committee investigating the insurrection on January 6th, and what he’s upset is they’re not even allowed to lie about it. At least he’s not lying about how upset he is about not being allowed to lie, I guess. Small victory. This statement used to be the kind of thing that could ruin a person’s political career, but now that we’ve been MAGA-tized it barely even makes a dent.” — Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s a real Ocean’s 11 of people who can’t count to 10 (Benjamin Franklin’s ghost)

October 2021

A new report in Rolling Stone magazine alleged that several members of Trump’s White House staff were involved in planning the rally that led to the Jan. 6 insurrection. Representatives Lauren Boebert of Colorado, Louie Gohmert of Texas and Marjorie Taylor Greene of Mordor were just a few of those said to be involved. It’s a real ‘Ocean’s 11’ of people who can’t count to 10.” —Stephen Colbert

“And I, for one, am shocked that Congress had anything to do with it, because it nearly worked.” —Seth Meyers

“One of the organizers said, ‘I remember Marjorie Taylor Greene specifically.’ Yes, I can imagine it’s hard to forget someone who tells you forest fires are caused by circumcised space lasers.” —Stephen Colbert

“Representative Paul Gosar of Arizona was named, too. This guy, when he was running for office, six of his siblings — his own brothers and sisters — made an attack ad against him and called him a traitor. Before he was one of the most hated members of Congress, he was the most hated member of his family.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“He reportedly told the organizers repeatedly they would get a blanket pardon from Trump and they were all, like, ‘Well, if there’s one thing we know about Donald Trump, he’s as good as his word.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“You could imagine Paul Gosar or Marjorie Taylor Greene on the phone with the Jan. 6 idiots huddled in their weird little militia hide-out/tree house promising them all kinds of crazy [expletive]: [Imitating Gosar and Greene] ‘You didn’t hear it from me, but I spoke to the chief wizard of the Supreme Court and he said there’s a secret provision written by Benjamin Franklin’s ghost, and it says you can have a blanket pardon, a private plane and a $100 gift card to Golden Corral.’” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”