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Showing posts with label John Wooden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Wooden. Show all posts

Sunday, January 28, 2018

You can solve the world's problems at an unlimited fondue bar (it's what Lex Luthor would point his space laser at)



As we speak, the president is jetting to Davos, Switzerland, for the World Economic Forum, an annual gathering that draws the world's elite from the world of business, finance, politics, and public affairs. Basically, it's what Lex Luthor would point his space laser at. --Stephen Colbert
Now, for those of you who haven't been invited, like I haven't, it's a bunch of fancy people who think you can solve the world's problems at an unlimited fondue bar. --Stephen Colbert
Trump's entire campaign for president was against globalization and the world's elite. So why's he going? Well, according to the director of the National Economic Council, Gary Cohn, "Trump wants to remind the world that we are open for business." And closed to immigrants, which those businesses really need to work. So, if you guys could just sneak in, that would be great. --Stephen Colbert
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.

Friday, January 19, 2018

Trump giving thumbs-up with headline “404 Error” (pyramid for success)



Remember a few weeks back when President Trump announced that he was going to reveal the winners of his fake news awards? He said that they would be awards for the most corrupt and biased reporting. Well, tonight was the day, and he finally announced them. When we went to watch the awards, the website immediately crashed. This is what most people saw when they went to the page [screenshot of Trump giving thumbs-up with headline “404 Error”]. Is that the website for the fake news awards or the current website for the United States of America? Only Trump would put a picture of himself giving a thumbs-up next to the message that says “Error.” --James Corden
It was no surprise an award was given to CNN. They won for falsely reporting that Trump overfed fish on his trip to Japan. Glad he cleared that up, because that’s the crisis in Asia looming on the horizon that everyone is worried about. Not nuclear missiles — bloated koi fish. --James Corden
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.