I mean, 148 years later this guy still can't get any security (three espresso shots & a vigorous slap)

July 2013

"Neural scientists at M.I.T. say they can plant false memories in your brain. No, that is not new. Politicians have been doing that for years. They're called campaign promises." –Jay Leno

"The head of the TSA said beginning later this year people can pay an $85 fee that will allow them to go through the airport line very quickly with minimal checking. Or as terrorists call that, money well spent." –Jay Leno

"The Lincoln Memorial was vandalized last night. Somebody snuck in the Lincoln Memorial and threw green paint all over Lincoln. How is that even possible? I mean, 148 years later this guy still can't get any security? Come on." –Jay Leno

"The Vatican announced that the late Pope John Paul II will become a saint after they approve a miracle where he cured a woman of severe brain injury, which is pretty impressive. Not as impressive, though, as the miracle of Anthony Weiner still being married, but that's impressive." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

As a result this year's triathlon combines running, swimming and pouring concrete (Bush's personal chef)

It’s been reported that Greece may not be able to finish building all the event sites needed for this Summer Olympics. As a result this year's triathlon combines running, swimming and pouring concrete. --Conan O’Brien 4/7/2004

A car that belonged to Pope John Paul II was sold at an auction for $700,000. The new owner says the first thing he's going to do is take off the bumper sticker that says, “no fat chicks.” --Conan O’Brien 11/2/2005

Today the White House announced that President Bush's personal chef is quitting his job. When asked why the chef said, “There's only so much you can do with Spaghetti O’s.” --Conan O’Brien 2/4/2005

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Pope thought the actor was very believable as Jesus (Green Eggs, Hold the Ham)

Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ after what two weeks is still number one at the box office. Yesterday at the Vatican Pope John Paul II actually met with the actor who plays Jesus in the Passion of the Christ. The Pope thought the actor was very believable as Jesus because afterwards he said tell your dad I said hi. --Conan O’Brien 3/16/2004

A group of Catholic Boston Red Sox fans have asked the city's bishop to allow them to eat meat on Good Friday because they want to eat hotdogs on opening day. The bishop turned the group down because he says Good Friday is about suffering and so is being a Red Sox fan. --Conan O’Brien 3/16/2004

For the first time ever a copy of Dr. Seuss's book The Cat in the Hat came out in Yiddish. They're also coming out with another Yiddish Dr. Seuss book book called Green Eggs, Hold the Ham. --Conan O’Brien 3/16/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”