It just sounded like more fun (a new Harry Potter-themed cruise)

First lady Melania Trump decided not to go on a trip to Switzerland with President Trump and instead she visited a Holocaust museum. When asked why, Melania said, “It just sounded like more fun.” --Conan O’Brien

In the news yesterday, North Korea suggested that it would like to reunite with South Korea. I think something’s up because today South Korea gave North Korea its Netflix password. --Conan O’Brien

There’s a new Harry Potter-themed cruise, and tickets start at $4,000 a person. For that price you get an owl, you get a wand, and you get to be alone for the rest of your life. --Conan O’Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

That is not true, clambucket pencil raft! (Not gonna happen, girlfriend)

The Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. has had to ask visitors to stop coming there to catch Pokémon characters because they say it’s inappropriate. The players said, "We’re so sorry, can you direct us to the Vietnam Memorial?" –Conan O’Brien

Over the weekend, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said that Donald Trump "says whatever comes into his head." To which Trump responded, "That is not true, clambucket pencil raft!" –Conan O’Brien

Gay Republicans are pushing for pro-LGBT language in the GOP platform. In response, the GOP said, "Not gonna happen, girlfriend." –Conan O’Brien