7000 racist millipedes in a human suit (Okay, back to our regular programming)

From a looming war with Iran to the ongoing humanitarian crisis at the border, it has been a week. Somewhere in the middle of all of that was the teensy bit of news that our president, who has admitted to sexual assault on tape, was accused for the 22nd time of sexual misconduct, this time by -- I'm sorry. Hold on. I just have to say. This is the 22nd accusation of sexual misconduct against Donald Trump. 22! If I had a dollar for every person Trump allegedly sexually harassed or assaulted, I would be doing better than any of his businesses. Janet Jackson's career ended because her breast sexually harassed one man's hand. Trump gets 21 do-overs and counting! Okay, back to our regular programming. --Samantha Bee

This 22nd accusation comes from E. Jean Carroll, the famous writer of Elle's advice column "Ask E. Jean." Long-time advice columnist E. Jean Carroll is accusing President Trump of sexually assaulting her back in the 1990s. In a memoir--excerpted in New York Magazine--she says it happened in a department store dressing room. The president denies all of the claims, and he has said today that he has never met Carroll. So naturally, there's a photo of them together. Remember if Trump says something isn't… it definitely is. If he ever says he's 100% not 7000 racist millipedes in a human suit, grab a can of raid. --Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The thoughtful restraint of the Internet (slander becomes the tool of the losers)

It's a true Christmas miracle because Fox News has birthed Fox Nation. It takes America's favorite news channel and adds the one thing that's always been lacking. The thoughtful restraint of the Internet. The New York Times describes Fox Nation as Netflix for conservatives which means it's for people who like Netflix but wish its World War II documentaries weren't so mean to the Nazis. --Samantha Bee

Just like Netflix, Fox Nation offers literally tens of programs and all of the most popular genres. From lifestyle shows and history shows, to Hillary's an evil bitch shows, and colleges turning your kids into whores and lesbians shows. To poor people are parasites shows and Muslims want to murder you shows. What all of their programming has in common is the Fox worldview that this is our country and those other people are trying to take it away from us. --Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”