Bush: We're not winning and we're not losing (Iraq War Dead)

"Well, for the first time, President Bush admitted we are not winning the War in Iraq. But he said today that we're not winning but we're not losing. To which John Kerry said, make up your mind!" --Jay Leno

"When the president gave an interview with the Washington Post earlier this week, this audio exchange came as a bit of surprise. [On screen: Bush: We're not winning and we're not losing]. Technically, the president is correct. We're not winning or losing because Iraq is in a Civil War. We can't win or lose that. It has nothing to do with us!" --Jon Stewart

"President Bush had a menorah lighting ceremony at the White House for Chanukah. I don't think President Bush understands the Jewish faith. After some kid lit the menorah, President Bush sang Happy Birthday and blew out the candles. Hey, what do you call President Bush wearing a yarmulke? A Chanukah Bush." --Jay Leno

Or as President Bush calls it, that Jewish flashlight

"Last night at the White House, President Bush hosted a Chanukah party and lit four candles on the menorah. Or as President Bush calls the menorah, that Jewish flashlight." --Conan O'Brien

"This California company that was charged to build this stupid fence along the border of Mexico has been charged with hiring illegal immigrants. Prosecutors say this is the worst case of irony they have ever seen." --Jay Leno

"Today at the White House, President Bush signed a deal that would send nuclear fuel to India. When asked about the Indian deal, President Bush said it's the least we can do after stealing your land." --Conan O'Brien