I never thought I'd be this eager to put my pants on (I don't have that kind of range)

According to the latest poll California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s approval rating is down to 30%. After hearing this Arnold said I'm not gonna act all hurt and upset because I don't have that kind of range. --Conan O’Brien 11/10/2005

President Clinton is expected to be released from the hospital and he'll be allowed to go home. Clinton was excited about it and said I never thought I'd be this eager to put my pants on. --Conan O’Brien 9/10/2004

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”