My staffers have been playing that prank on me for six months! (A gift basket)

“Yesterday was April Fool's Day and get this: Mitt Romney's staffers played a prank on him by staging a campaign event in an empty room. Or as Newt Gingrich put it, 'My staffers have been playing that prank on me for six months!'" –Jimmy Fallon

Amazon Prime just unveiled new buttons you can press to order Doritos, Red Bull, and Trojan condoms. Or as that's called in New Jersey, “A gift basket.” –Jimmy Fallon

“A new survey says 64 percent of Americans own a smartphone. Which is interesting because in a related survey, 100 percent of smartphones say they own an American.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”