Three people you don't know got called down, and they were extremely happy about it. That's all you missed (maybe it's the car that has the problem)

May 2014

"Fans of 'The Price is Right' got angry at President Obama yesterday because a speech he was giving interrupted the show. So let me fill them in on what they missed: Three people you don't know got called down, and they were extremely happy about it. That's all you missed." –Jimmy Fallon 

"A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs. And that's just selling lava lamps at Spencer's Gifts." –Jimmy Fallon 

"A woman got a DUI while driving a car that belongs to Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. So, I'm starting to think maybe it's the car that has the problem." –Jimmy Fallon

"This Rob Ford is something else. His car gets pulled over for DUI even when he's not in it. It's over. The machines have won. I mean, for God's sake, Rob Ford's Cadillac Escalade is drunk." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”