That's the same thing they said about me going on Oprah (You know, like the Yankee pitching staff)

"Program reminder, you know what Sunday is? That's right, the Academy Awards. Academy Awards on Sunday. Side effects include nausea, abdominal pain and sexual dysfunction. The Academy Awards is like a flight on Jet Blue. I mean, you sit there for six hours hoping it will take off." --David Letterman

"Critics and insiders are saying that Osama bin Laden's new video is only a sad attempt to try to stay relevant. That's the same thing they said about me going on 'Oprah.'" --David Letterman

"They say that swine flu is not as potent as they originally thought. You know, like the Yankee pitching staff." --David Letterman

"I like that John McCain. He looks like a guy who gets tickets for mowing under the influence. He looks like a guy with a collection of movies he bought at the car wash. He looks like a guy on the beach with a metal detector. He looks like the guy who is still confused by the phone answering machine: 'Hello, is that - hello, is that you? Larry, Larry, hello?' He looks like the guy who calls his grandson when he screws up the remote: 'Well, now all the shows are in Spanish. What am I going to do, hello?'" --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

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