If this turns out to be a false report again, ‘urine’ trouble. (I did not secretly die in 1966)

October 2021

“I just can’t quit talking about reports about the existence of a tape rumored to show Donald J. Trump in a compromising position in a Moscow hotel room. Christopher Steele, a British ex-spy, that such a tape ‘probably exists.’ No! No, Chris Steele, you will not get my hopes up again. I have moved on — my heart cannot take this!” Colbert said. “This show had an official last pee-pee tape joke on January 25th. You cannot get me to talk about this until the actual tape has been released — or at least streamed.” —Stephen Colbert

“I’m warning you, Steele. If this turns out to be a false report again, ‘urine’ trouble.” —Stephen Colbert

“At a donor retreat last week, Trump denied, sans context or prompting, that he enjoys so-called ‘golden showers.’ Um, no one asked you? And when no one is bringing up the thing that you famously denied, you shouldn’t bring it up either. You don’t hear Paul McCartney beginning his concert by saying, ‘Hello New York, I did not secretly die in 1966 and get replaced with a lookalike from Canada, eh.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Trump also reportedly denied the tape’s existence on the basis of wife Melania’s distrust of the story. You know the great thing, our great first lady – ‘that one,’ she said, ‘I don’t believe that one.’ Yes, she doesn’t believe that one. (imitating the former first lady): ‘Having prostitutes pee on a bed does not sound like my husband. Now, getting spanked by Forbes magazine with him on the cover and then raw-dogging that porn star at a celebrity golf tournament two weeks after I gave birth to our child? That’s the man I married.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”