“Global supply chain issues are plaguing American supermarkets. Because of Covid lockdowns and labor shortages and a lack of shipping containers, everything you want is either not made yet, stuck on a boat, or waiting for a trucker who can’t drive because the Gatorade bottle he needs to pee in is stuck on a boat or hasn’t been made yet. Now, global supply chain problems are leading to empty shelves at grocery stores. It’s so bad that Whole Foods has had to change their name to ‘Part Foods’.” —Stephen Colbert
“Supply chain issues have left shelves bare of fish sticks, frozen meals and, in a devastating blow to divorced dads, Marie Callender’s pot pies. Brace yourselves, ladies and gentlemen, because America is running low on Ben & Jerry’s. I scream, you scream, we all scream ‘where’s the fucking ice cream?!’” —Stephen Colbert
“The company said it will focus on producing its most popular flavors – including Colbert’s own Americone Dream – but you might be in trouble if you prefer one of Ben & Jerry’s less popular flavors, like Chunks of Real Monkey, Cherry Orbach, and Inattentive Hubby. The most concerning blow is a shortage of wine. Frozen foods? Fine. Candy? Who needs it. But a wine shortage? Me and my book club are buying zip ties and storming the Capitol. The shortage is due in part to a ‘glass bottle crunch’ – incidentally, ‘glass bottle crunch’ is one of Ben & Jerry’s least popular flavors.” —Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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