That's why it's a million pages long (Excuse me, but I saw 'Jingle All the Way.')

October 2012

"Arnold Schwarzenegger's book is out today. Arnold's book reveals all the secrets he kept from his wife. That's why it's a million pages long." –Craig Ferguson

"The part of the book everyone's going to skip to is the part where he talks about the maid and the love child. He says he didn't think the kid was his at first – mostly because the kid could speak English." –Craig Ferguson

"Arnold Schwarzenegger says in the book cheating on Maria was the stupidest thing he ever did. Excuse me, but I saw 'Jingle All the Way.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Despite the scandal, Schwarzenegger was a popular governor. So popular that Republicans wanted to repeal the natural-born citizen law that prevented him from running for president. So a president born in Austria would have been OK, but a president born in Kenya – NO!" –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”