getting my ass handed to me by some nine-year-old on War Zone (getting Venmoed by Matt Gaetz)

May 2021

“The Biden administration announced this week that Pfizer vaccines will soon be available for children between the ages of 12 and 15. This can’t come soon enough, man. I mean, it is so important for the young population to get re-engaged in society. And it’s so important for my self-confidence to have five hours in the day when I’m not getting my ass handed to me by some nine-year-old on War Zone.” —Trevor Noah

“Most importantly, this vaccine will allow teenagers to go back to doing normal teenage stuff again – you know, like going to school, seeing their friends, getting Venmoed by Matt Gaetz.” —Trevor Noah

“Joe Biden visited an elementary school in Virginia and asked students what they wanted to be when they grew up. Said students, ‘covered by a healthcare plan that isn’t tied to my employment.’” —Seth Meyers

“And in other tech news, a new report found the number of customers who subscribed to AOL’s dial-up internet service was in the low thousands, which is also their average age.” —Seth Meyers

“And as states prepare to open vaccination appointments to children aged 12-15, the New Jersey governor, Phil Murphy, introduced a ‘shot and beer’ program that would provide a free beer for those who receive the shot. Which is why every 15-year-old just said they want to get vaccinated in New Jersey.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”