Jon Stewart on John Boehner accusing President Obama of the largest spending binge in American history: "Which came on the heels of an almost absurdly reckless decade, unfunded wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, an unfunded trillion dollar Medicare prescription bill, and tax cuts for the wealthy that are the largest single policy contributor to our deficit; in fact, I myself voted for all of these…ahem, back to my original point!"
David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Barack Obama Can Win Over The Republicans"
10. Show up to next meeting in a Captain America uniform
9. Burn everyone a really cool mix CD
8. Bribe them with free tickets to a 'Larry the Cable Guy' show
7. Raise the debt ceiling, but do it with a fun sound effect
6. Do something about the heat
5. Swap places with another guy named Barack Obama — hey, don't miss the new reality show 'Same Name' Sundays at 9:00 p.m. on CBS!
4. Put Chuck Norris on the nickel
3. Like I'm the right guy to ask for advice on winning people over
2. Don't be such a poor sport when they call him a socialist, foreign-born, radical Muslim who's trying to destroy America
1. Kill bin Laden again
10. Show up to next meeting in a Captain America uniform
9. Burn everyone a really cool mix CD
8. Bribe them with free tickets to a 'Larry the Cable Guy' show
7. Raise the debt ceiling, but do it with a fun sound effect
6. Do something about the heat
5. Swap places with another guy named Barack Obama — hey, don't miss the new reality show 'Same Name' Sundays at 9:00 p.m. on CBS!
4. Put Chuck Norris on the nickel
3. Like I'm the right guy to ask for advice on winning people over
2. Don't be such a poor sport when they call him a socialist, foreign-born, radical Muslim who's trying to destroy America
1. Kill bin Laden again
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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