"General Motors has reported a $6 billion loss. But once they get through bankruptcy they hope to go back making cars that nobody wants. So that will be nice. A six billion dollar loss. You know what that means? Somebody is in line for a pretty good looking bonus." --David Letterman
"The gay agenda put another notch in its thick leather crotch harness yesterday. Maine has legalized gay marriage." --Jon Stewart
"Another state legalized same-sex marriage this week. Yesterday the governor of Maine signed a bill legalizing it, and you know what that means? Gay lobsters." --Jimmy Kimmel
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