which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican (clients one through eight)

A new Earth-like planet has been discovered a few months before an election where Donald Trump could be president. If that's not perfect timing, I don't know what is. –James Corden

"The New York Times reported that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was a customer of a high-end prostitution ring, that the prostitutes knew him as Client #9. Client #9, yeah. Not surprisingly, clients one through eight were Charlie Sheen." --Conan O'Brien

"Tough day for the Bush administration. A guy named Claude Allen has been arrested and charged in Maryland with swindling Target and some other department stores out of refunds. He allegedly made off without about $5000 or so which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”