They have zero calories because you suck so hard on the straw you pass out (no one in Green Bay remembers answering that survey)

There’s a restaurant in New York that’s now serving hummus smoothies. They have zero calories because you suck so hard on the straw you pass out. --Jimmy Fallon

A new survey found that Green Bay, Wisconsin, is the drunkest city in the U.S. You can tell, cuz no one in Green Bay remembers answering that survey. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”