The Pope defended himself saying, "I’m celibate, this is all I have."

Over the weekend, Pope Francis gave his support to a woman who was publicly breastfeeding. The Pope defended himself saying, "I’m celibate, this is all I have." –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump is reportedly having multiple disagreements with his Defense Secretary pick, James "Mad Dog" Mattis. You know you’re in trouble when a guy named Mad Dog is telling you to take it down a notch. –Conan O’Brien

Later this month, Google will be testing its new self-driving minivans. The vehicles can do all the functions of a human driver, except wonder, "Christ, how did I end up driving a minivan?" –Conan O’Brien