A new study reveals the average American is 33 pounds heavier
than the average person in France. After hearing this, Gerard Depardieu said,
"Hey, I'm doing all I can."—Conan O’Brien
Donald Trump said, "The American dream is dead." All
right, well, it's not exactly "Hope and change," but it's a slogan.—Jimmy
Kimmel
An English couple has become the world's oldest newlyweds at
the ages of 91 and 103. The couple registered at Bed, Bath & the Great
Beyond.—Seth Meyers
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