"On the Republican side, today former Texas Governor Rick
Perry announced he is running for president. While growing up he wanted to be a
veterinarian, but his grades weren't good enough. Luckily for us, now he wants
to be in charge of people." –Jimmy Fallon
"The Christmas-themed town of North Pole, Alaska, has
officially approved marijuana dispensaries. So don't expect your presents from
Santa until next April." –Conan O'Brien
"Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed
Reindeer." –Conan O'Brien
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