"The attorney general of New York is now suing Donald
Trump for $40 million claiming that Trump University is a fraud. I guess he got
suspicious when he realized the dean of the business school was Bernie
Madoff." –Jay Leno
"Anybody ever studied at Donald Trump University? The
attorney general says it's a fraudulent operation. Here's all I know. It's the
only college where you can actually major in condo flipping." –David
Letterman
"The
United States has no choice but to attack Syria because Dictator Bashar
al-Assad is killing his own people with chemical weapons. Before, he was just
killing them with bullets. But if America cared about shooting people, we'd be
invading Chicago." –Stephen Colbert
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