"Vladimir
Putin has taken his criticism of America up a notch. Today he wrote an Op-Ed
for The New York Times asking the U.S. to be more civilized. Unfortunately,
Putin couldn't finish it because he had to take his shirt off and arrest gay
people." –Conan O'Brien
"Today Pope Francis said that if you are an atheist, God will
forgive you. And with that, 2,000 years of Christianity came to an end, ladies
and gentlemen." –Conan O'Brien
"Disturbing news for California. Californians have more
unplanned pregnancies than any other state. Of course, keep in mind that
California has many more NBA teams than any other state." –Conan O'Brien
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