He carries so many because they’re constantly getting slapped out of his hands (Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Tut.)

Donald Trump accused media outlets this morning of deliberately editing his words to make him come across in a bad light. Also making Trump come across in a bad light – light. –Seth Meyers

The U.N. General Assembly began today, and Donald Trump was scheduled to meet with the president of Egypt. Said Trump, “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Tut.” –Seth Meyers

The New York Times revealed today that Tim Kaine travels with six harmonicas in his briefcase. He carries so many because they’re constantly getting slapped out of his hands. –Seth Meyers

"In a recent promotion, Mitt Romney is offering donors a chance to win a ride on his campaign plane. But if you know how Mitt Romney travels, this is one contest you don't want to win." (on screen: a picture of someone strapped to the roof of his plane) –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He carries so many because they’re constantly getting slapped out of his hands

The first and only vice-presidential debate of this election season was held tonight, and it was pretty much the same as the debate I had with my wife about painting the foyer. “Do we want eggshell or ivory?” –Seth Meyers

Eric Trump today defended his father’s recent 3 a.m. Twitter rant about former Miss Universe Alicia Machado, telling reporters, “At least my father is up at 3 o’clock in the morning.” Why do you think that’s a good thing? You know who’s up that early? People who are wondering where they went wrong with their son. –Seth Meyers

The New York Times revealed today that Tim Kaine travels with six harmonicas in his briefcase. He carries so many because they’re constantly getting slapped out of his hands. –Seth Meyers