Finally, a politician who's not afraid to put his money where his mouth is (Wait, was today my fantasy baseball draft?)

"A New Jersey school named after President Obama is closing because of low enrollment. That explains the school's new education plan, 'No Child Left . . .'" –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama is facing criticism for going on ESPN to pick his NCAA brackets when there are more important issues on his agenda. When he heard this, Obama said, 'Wait . . . Was today my fantasy baseball draft?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Julianne Moore has signed on to play Sarah Palin in a TV movie. Remember how Robert De Niro had to gain 60 pounds to play the boxer Jake LaMotta? Julianne has to drop 125 IQ points to play Sarah Palin." –Jay Leno

"The latest sex scandal concerns Florida Republican state Representative Bob Allen, who was arrested for offering to perform a sex act on an undercover police officer in exchange for $20. $20? Finally, a politician who's not afraid to put his money where his mouth is." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Was today my fantasy baseball draft? (dropping 125 IQ points)

"A New Jersey school named after President Obama is closing because of low enrollment. That explains the school's new education plan, 'No Child Left . . .'" –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama is facing criticism for going on ESPN to pick his NCAA brackets when there are more important issues on his agenda. When he heard this, Obama said, 'Wait . . . Was today my fantasy baseball draft?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Julianne Moore has signed on to play Sarah Palin in a TV movie. Remember how Robert De Niro had to gain 60 pounds to play the boxer Jake LaMotta? Julianne has to drop 125 IQ points to play Sarah Palin." –Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin is going to Israel next week on a fact-finding tour. She wants to find out things like where is it and who's their king. She says she's very excited to visit the Wailing Wall, because whaling is illegal in Alaska." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Don’t worry, the organizers of the contest have been arrested ("F**k," said Piglet.)

President Trump attacked Robert De Niro as someone who's "received too many hits to the head by real boxers." It was part of Trump's speech entitled "I Don’t Understand How Movies Work." --Conan O’Brien

The Detroit Zoo announced it is sending 11,000 tadpoles to Puerto Rico to help restore their native toad population. A grateful Puerto Rico said, "Thanks, but could you send some electricity instead?" --Conan O’Brien

The owner of the famous Bunny Ranch brothel won the primary for the Nevada state legislature. He won on his strong record of hiring women. --Conan O’Brien

On Tuesday, a cow named Char won the "sexiest cow in Britain" award. Don’t worry, the organizers of the contest have been arrested. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

You are being ruled by criminals (f*** cardio)

The Tony Awards was last night — or as I call it, the Super Bowl — and it was absolutely wonderful. The moment everyone was buzzing about was when Robert De Niro had to be censored for saying on stage "f*** Trump." And today, angry Trump supporters everywhere are pretending that they actually watch the Tony Awards. --James Corden

People were saying that it was brave for Robert De Niro to do this. It was a pretty liberal show-business audience, so really, saying "f*** Trump" at the Tonys is like saying "f*** cardio" at a Waffle House. I hate to be cynical, but I think De Niro's just promoting his next movie, "Meet the Trump Fockers." --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Julianne Moore has to drop 125 IQ points to play Sarah Palin

"Sarah Palin finally heard what happened in Japan, and she's demanding that we invade tsuanmi. She said these tsunamians will not get away with this." –Bill Maher



"Julianne Moore has signed on to play Sarah Palin in a TV movie. Remember how Robert De Niro had to gain 60 pounds to play the boxer Jake LaMotta? Julianne has to drop 125 IQ points to play Sarah Palin." –Jay Leno



"Sarah Palin is going to Israel next week on a fact-finding tour. She wants to find out things like where is it and who's their king. She says she's very excited to visit the Wailing Wall, because whaling is illegal in Alaska." –Jay Leno