Our entire business model (Jeb coming in last/Pity the Nation)

This weekend was the Kentucky Derby with Nyquist coming in first, Exaggerator coming in second, and — this is crazy — Jeb coming in last. –Seth Meyers

A wheelchair basketball game in Germany had to be called off this weekend after 60 fans attacked each other with knives and baseball bats. On the plus side, it sounds like they should have some more players for the next game. –Seth Meyers

A new study suggests that a chemical released when a person is hungry can lead to poor decision-making. It’s what Taco Bell calls “our entire business model.” –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

he then drove away on a road that I assume he paved himself

This weekend was the Kentucky Derby with Nyquist coming in first, Exaggerator coming in second, and — this is crazy — Jeb coming in last. –Seth Meyers

A wheelchair basketball game in Germany had to be called off this weekend after 60 fans attacked each other with knives and baseball bats. On the plus side, it sounds like they should have some more players for the next game. –Seth Meyers

A tow truck driver in Asheville, North Carolina, who supports Donald Trump evidently stranded a disabled woman on the side of the road after he saw a Bernie Sanders bumper sticker on her car. Telling the woman that she was obviously a socialist and that she should call the government for help, he then drove away on a road that I assume he paved himself. –Stephen Colbert

I'd rather spend $30,000 than visit you in person

Hooters is offering its annual free meal for moms. Apparently, moms must be accompanied by at least one kid, who must also be accompanied by at least one psychiatrist. –Jimmy Fallon

A company will make a life-size 3D printed model of yourself that you can send to your mom for $30,000. It's a great way of telling your mom I'd rather spend $30,000 than visit you in person. –Jimmy Fallon

The big story this weekend was that the racehorse Nyquist won the Kentucky Derby, while a horse named Exaggerator came in second place. Or as Exaggerator put it, “Hey, I won the Kentucky Derby!” –Jimmy Fallon