With respect Mr. President, Trump Vodka is NOT the official vodka of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

A new Earth-like planet has been discovered a few months before an election where Donald Trump could be president. If that's not perfect timing, I don't know what is. –James Corden

Hillary Clinton cited an old Mexican proverb in her speech in Nevada today to highlight the unchanging nature of Donald Trump. A Mexican proverb, or as Trump calls it, "A spell!" –Seth Meyers

Hillary Clinton had a phone interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper last night — and she HAD to do it by phone, because nobody could possibly lie to that face. –Seth Meyers

"According to a series of just published letters that Albert Einstein sent to his second wife, he had ten mistresses. He would send his wife letters about his mistresses and then ask her for advice. Or as Bill Clinton called him, 'a trailblazer, a pioneer.'" --Jay Leno

Trump has a job for Mitt Romney after all! (Mormon tabernacle choir)

We're a little over two weeks from Trump's inauguration. Typically, you've got a bunch of stars there at the inauguration to perform for the new president. Reagan had Frank Sinatra, Clinton had Fleetwood Mac, George W. Bush had Ricky Martin, Obama had Beyonce. So, obviously, for Trump, everybody who's anybody is going to be there, except for anybody. Because he's having a wee bit of trouble getting famous acts to perform. –Stephen Colbert

Turns out the Mormon tabernacle choir is scheduled to perform, but over the weekend, a choir member resigned because she didn't want to perform for Trump. Now the choir needs to fill that empty spot with a Mormon who has free time and can sing — Trump has a job for Mitt Romney after all! –Stephen Colbert

Bill and Hillary Clinton will attend Trump's inauguration. I think that's very nice that she's being a gracious loser. And if you count the popular vote, a gracious winner. –Stephen Colbert