Revolution may be closer than it appears (a six pack of hookers)

"I haven't been on the show for a while, but for some reason when this scandal about hookers broke, I looked out the window and there was a helicopter waiting to take me to the studio. It is good to have a specialty. Turns out I was more needed than I thought. This scandal is raising all sorts of questions. [on screen: news anchors asking, 'How would a guy like Governor Spitzer actually do it? Does he pay in cash? Does his real name appear somewhere? How does the check get written? We're talking about $5,000. How do you develop a credit with the prostitution ring is another aspect of the story I don't quite understand']. Please, like you don't know. Guys pay women for sex? No! Okay, let me try and explain this. When a man loves a woman very much, they share a very special kind of transaction. Maybe I'm going too fast. Let me break this down. First off, cost. Spitzer paid $4300 for two hours with a hooker. I know that sounds pricey. I mean for that much money, you could buy a used Honda and [bleep] it. But the service the governor used was extra fancy. For God sake, it's called the Emperor's Club. You want discounts, go to Sam's Emperor Club. They sell in bulk. In one trip, you can get a 20 gallon pack of mayonnaise and a six pack of hookers." --Lewis Black

"We estimate that there are perhaps 20,000 prehistoric hunter-gatherers frozen up in those glaciers. Now, if they simply thaw and wander around, it's not a problem, but if they find a leader -- a Captain Caveman, if you will -- we'll be facing an even more serious problem." --Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, on the dangers of global warming

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

in cases ranging from burglary to sex to raising dogs for money in the White House bowling alley (the enemy will just be confused)

"So Congress and the White House headed for a standoff. Neither side willing to give an inch. What's an occupying country to do? Democratic Senator Mark Pryor has the answer, proposing that we pick a withdrawal date but keep it a secret. That way, when we withdraw, the enemy will just be confused." --Jon Stewart

"Executive privilege is a special right of privacy asserted by presidents when they don't want you to hear about something bad they did. Think about it. How often will a president say, 'Oh my God, these memos prove I've behaved ethically throughout my term in office. Destroy them!' Presidents invoke it in cases ranging from burglary to sex to raising dogs for money in the White House bowling alley." --Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Hmmm, if there was just some sort of stress-relieving activity that could be performed right there in the Oval Office

"We estimate that there are perhaps 20,000 prehistoric hunter-gatherers frozen up in those glaciers. Now, if they simply thaw and wander around, it's not a problem, but if they find a leader -- a Captain Caveman, if you will -- we'll be facing an even more serious problem." --Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, on the dangers of global warming

"New rule: When President Bush meets an autistic teenager, they must wear name tags so we can tell them apart." --Bill Maher

"New rule: You can't be as tired as we are of you. The latest excuse for Bush administration foul-ups is that top members of the White House staff are physically and emotionally exhausted. Hmmm, if there was just some sort of stress-relieving activity that could be performed right there in the Oval Office. I'd suggest a nice vacation out in the country, but the last time that happened, somebody got shot." --Bill Maher