It’s extremely hard to ski straight when you are kegeling a jade egg (I don’t know how that guy could run with testicles that big)

A 72 year old man is suing Gwyneth Paltrow for knocking him unconscious and breaking his ribs in a skiing accident at a Utah ski resort in 2016. The man is now seeking more than $3.1 Million -- or two items on GOOP. Even if true, you have to cut Gwyneth a break here. It’s extremely hard to ski straight when you are kegeling a jade egg. --Stephen Colbert

Governor Ralph Northam is now denying it was him in the photo wearing blackface. But Northam admitted to once appearing in blackface as Michael Jackson. Never a good sign when there’s a story about you and Michael Jackson, and you’re the creepy one. --Stephen Colbert

A Colorado runner was attacked by a mountain lion. But he fought back and killed the lion with his bare hands. Wow! I don’t know how that guy could run with testicles that big. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That was a long three seconds

Apparently, Trump is trying to win the women's vote by marrying them all. If they get elected both the first and second lady will be the third lady. –Stephen Colbert

It's no secret that I'm fascinated by Gwyneth Paltrow. Not as fascinated as she is, but still. Pretty fascinated. I especially love her lifestyle website Goop, your number one source for $5,000 juicers. –Stephen Colbert

MSNBC had a countdown clock to the meeting this morning where no cameras were allowed and after which we learned nothing. “Jim, can we put up my countdown clock of how much longer we all have to pretend this was news?” That was a long three seconds. –Stephen Colbert