Actually, everyone calls me Turbo now (I'm Not Kitten)

August 2021

“In other news, the president of the Arizona senate announced the state’s rightwing ‘investigation’ into the 2020 election would be delayed after several members of third-party contractor CyberNinjas became infected with Covid. Man, at this rate, we’ll never get to find out what didn’t actually happen.” —Seth Meyers

“Andrew Cuomo delivered his final speech as governor of New York on Monday, as he resigned after the state attorney general found he groped and sexually harassed members of his staff. Cuomo acknowledged the scandal in his speech, and claimed he was a victim of an unfair ‘political and media stampede’. Yeah, what kind of white man whose dad was also governor only gets ten years in office?” —Seth Meyers

“Following the full approval of Pfizer’s coronavirus vaccine, the company revealed it would start marketing the drug under the name Comirnaty, so now people will start referring to the Pfizer vaccine as ‘the Pfizer vaccine.’ It’s too late for a rebrand. This is like when your friend comes back from vacation and is like, ‘Actually, everyone calls me Turbo now.’” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

A riddle Tom Hanks would have to solve in the Da Vinci Code to find out the location of the Holy Grail (worms are almost gone)

August 2021

“Comirnaty? It already had a great name: Pfizer vaccine. I mean, I understand using a complicated name like Viberzi or Xifaxan for IBS drugs so you don’t have to ask your doctor about, I don’t know, ‘diarrhea-be-gone’. The name comes from the term ‘Covid-19 immunity’, with ‘mRNA’, the shot’s underlying technology, embedded in the middle, and is meant to evoke the word community. God, it’s like a riddle Tom Hanks would have to solve in the Da Vinci Code to find out the location of the Holy Grail.” —Seth Meyers

“Meanwhile, the Moderna and Johnson & Johnson vaccines don’t need F.D.A. approval. They spent lockdown learning to love themselves.” —James Corden

“But the vaccine isn’t the only thing keeping the F.D.A. busy. They recently had to tell people not to treat Covid with a drug that’s given to animals with worms. This is real. They tweeted: ‘You are not a horse. You are not a cow. Seriously y’all, stop it.’ Meanwhile, the people taking it are like, ‘Laugh all you want, but I don’t have Covid, and the worms are almost gone.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I guess, we finally ran out of pharmaceutical names (I’m a valued member of the comirnaty)

August 2021

“The Pfizer vaccine is now fully approved by the F.D.A., which sounds like a big deal, until you remember that so is Mountain Dew Baja Blast.” —James Corden

“Get this: The new name of the fully approved Pfizer vaccine is Comirnaty. Comirnaty, which sounds more like a drunk person trying to say ‘community’: [imitating drunk] ‘You can’t arrest me; I’m a valued member of the comirnaty.” —Jimmy Fallon

“This is amazing news that will hopefully convince more people to get vaccinated, and we should all be thrilled. But, also, huge news that, I guess, we finally ran out of pharmaceutical names.” —Seth Meyers

“Did the approval catch Pfizer so off guard that they yelled out a name before they were ready? ‘I vote Comirnaty!’” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”