I’ve only got two weeks left — what the hell? (dueling monster truck shows)

January 2021

“And yet, numerous congressional Republicans intend to vote in favor of Trump’s attempt to overturn democracy this week, citing baseless election fraud claims. During his last ‘perfect call’ – the one he got impeached for – Republicans lined up and said ‘we can’t impeach, Congress shouldn’t decide who’s president, the people should decide!’ And now these same Congress people are like, ‘what, the people decided on Biden? In that case, let’s let Congress decide who’s the president.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump had another perfect call over the weekend. He brought up all kind of crazy things — conspiracy theories he says he’s been hearing on what he calls ‘Trump media.’ It was the kind of call that makes you wonder, is he stupid or drunk? And then you remember he doesn’t drink.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump claimed, among many other things, that there is no way he could have lost Georgia because he had bigger crowds than Joe Biden. As if it was some kind of dueling monster truck shows.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“Carl Bernstein, the reporter who broke the Watergate scandal back in the ’70s, said what Trump said on this tape was, quote, ‘far worse than Watergate.’ But I guess Trump figures, ‘I’ve only got two weeks left — what the hell?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“While most of us are back to reality today, Donald Trump is further from it than he’s ever been, referencing the Raffensperger call. I listened it to it twice, I listened to the whole thing like it was a surprise Taylor Swift album.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

They are literally putting a Band-Aid on the problem of racism (Nixon Christ Superstar)

“This is an interesting sign of the times, a small show of progress, perhaps. Johnson and Johnson announced via Instagram their plan to help heal our nation’s wounds, a line of racially inclusive Band-Aids. The Johnsons wrote: ‘We hear you. We see you. We’re listening to you.  We stand in solidarity with our Black colleagues, collaborators and community in the fight against racism, violence and injustice.’ They are literally putting a Band-Aid on the problem of racism.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“But good for Band-Aids for finally opening things up beyond the shade they’ve been using for a hundred years, a color known internally as ‘Ed Sheeran’s Neck.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Former national security adviser John Bolton’s new book is called The Room Where It Happened, a reference to the musical Hamilton, which is kinda weird – it’s like if Woodward and Bernstein called their book Nixon Christ Superstar.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

JOKES: We call it Asian-American Avenue now (he accidentally swallowed his eyebrow)

Famed Watergate reporter Carl Bernstein told CNN yesterday that the Trump administration is trying to cover up its ties to Russia. Bernstein wouldn’t identify his source, but did say [shows photo of Mitch McConnell] he goes by the name Loose Throat. –Seth Meyers

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson today said that Russia must respect its international commitments toward Ukraine — and then he winked so hard he accidentally swallowed his eyebrow. –Seth Meyers

President Trump today tweeted that the “failing New York Times must apologize” for publishing leaks from his administration, but at this point, if they didn’t publish White House leaks, the whole paper would just be the crossword. –Seth Meyers

The makers of the board game Monopoly have announced that they are dropping the thimble token in favor of new pieces in the shape of emojis and hashtags. Although, if you’re trying to modernize Monopoly, maybe start with Oriental Avenue. We call it Asian-American Avenue now. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html