It's like a guy labeling a porn folder on his computer “Best Porn.” (They take my fake beard and emergency bag of getaway money?)

August 2022

Well, over the weekend, we found out that the FBI seized 11 sets of classified documents from Trump's home, including four sets that were marked Top Secret. You know Trump just kept those hoping to come across KFC's secret blend of herbs and spices. —Jimmy Fallon

Also, just a thought, but if the government doesn't want people reading those files, maybe they shouldn't label them Top Secret. It's like a guy labeling a porn folder on his computer “Best Porn.” Just call it "banana-bread recipe." No one will open that. —Jimmy Fallon

This doesn't look good for Trump. But don’t worry. He had a perfectly reasonable explanation. He said that when he took the classified documents from The White House, he declassified them. Yeah. He declassified them, meaning he took out a Sharpie and wrote "D-E" in front of “classified." —Jimmy Fallon

Meanwhile, today, Trump complained that during their search of Mar-a-Lago, the FBI seized his three passports. He's like, "What's next? They take my fake beard and emergency bag of getaway money?" —Jimmy Fallon

I heard that, due to weak tomato production, there could be a shortage of spaghetti sauce, ketchup, and salsa. It's getting pretty bad. Levels of concern have gone from mild to medium. I knew there was a tomato shortage when, after they raided Mar-a-Lago, Trump threw mustard at the wall instead of ketchup. —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”