When you’re 79, your surges aren’t as strong as they used to be, if you know what I’m saying (the rest of the team gets paid in Panera coupons)

August 2022

“Thanks to some big wins in congress, falling gas prices, and a stronger economy, President Biden’s approval rating has surged three points. That’s it? That’s like donating a kidney and getting a text back that says, ‘Thanks.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Come on. Three points. It makes sense, because when you’re 79, your surges aren’t as strong as they used to be, if you know what I’m saying.” —Jimmy Fallon

“President Biden only has a 40% approval rating. But that’s a win. I mean, at one point, he was polling lower than paper straws.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Pabst Blue Ribbon is partnering with a motel in Michigan to create PBR-themed rooms. That’s right, a beer-themed motel room, or as it’s also known, a motel room.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Thirty-seven year old LeBron James jus agreed to a two-year, $97 million contract extension with the Los Angeles Lakers. Thirty-seven isn’t that old, but in Los Angeles he’s 150. Yep, $97 million for LeBron, which means the rest of the team gets paid in Panera coupons.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”