It was because I was involved in a horrible gum accident (he's just a drunk who wears a cape)

You know when you're young you think your dad's Superman and then you grow up and you realize he's just a drunk who wears a cape. --Dave Attell

I have shaved my pubic area. It was not because I wanted to. It was because I was involved in a horrible gum accident. --Dave Attell

I travel a lot, and I hate traveling. I guess it’s because my dad used to beat me with a globe. --Dave Attell

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”