Nothing says everything’s fine like a dehydrated septuagenarian broadcasting from the set of Mad Max: Fury Road (Then we're safe to eat)

July 2022

“Meanwhile, today, President Biden announced new executive actions to address the climate crisis. Whew, just in time, it’s 115 degrees outside!” —Jimmy Fallon

“Unfortunately, Biden’s speech was cut short when the teleprompter burst into flame.” —Jimmy Fallon

“So the president held a press conference today to announce new steps to combat climate change but stopped short of declaring a national emergency. Yeah, you don’t want to call a climate emergency too early — you’ve got to wait until our internal temperature is 165 degrees in the thigh. Then we’re safe to eat.” —Stephen Colbert

“It’s so hot in the city, Times Square had a naked cowboy and a shaved Elmo.” —Stephen Colbert

“There have been devastating heatwaves across the US this week. These heatwaves are only going to get worse, because Biden’s climate plan is being blocked in the Senate by Joe ‘I hate life on Earth’ Manchin.” —Stephen Colbert

“The non-emergency press conference was held at a former coal plant in Massachusetts, or what appears to be the bleakest, most desolate spot on planet Earth. Because nothing says everything’s fine like a dehydrated septuagenarian broadcasting from the set of Mad Max: Fury Road.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”