I like to think of them as the world's newest oldlyweds (Why can't I get separated?)

We are in the midst of a hell-like heat wave on the West Coast. The temperature hit 112 in Beverly Hills yesterday. That's dangerous. Many residents of Beverly Hills are made of materials that melt at temperatures like that. –Jimmy Kimmel

It was a devastating loss for Cavs superstar LeBron James. He lost both the NBA Finals and 40 percent of his hairline. It's times like these when it really helps that you make $65 million a year. –Jimmy Kimmel

In England, the world's oldest bride and groom tied the knot. She's 91, he's 103. Men are unbelievable. He couldn't find someone his own age? They're the world's oldest newlyweds, but I like to think of them as the world's newest oldlyweds. –Jimmy Kimmel

This is not a popular immigration policy — 67% of Americans oppose it. Even Melania released a statement saying she hates to see families separated. Partly because it makes her jealous. “Why can't I get separated?” --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”