You got five minutes. No touching! (Do you have the plague? You have to get the plague.)

Salad chain Sweetgreen announced yesterday they will give employees five months of paid parental leave. And Walmart announced they'll let employees see their families once a year. "You got five minutes. No touching!" --Seth Meyers

According to a new study, rat sightings in New York City have increased 40% over the last five years. Even worse, a lot of the rats are tourists. --Seth Meyers

Experts reported this week that so much trash has accumulated in Los Angeles, they believe it could lead to a spread of the bubonic plague. Said people in Los Angeles, "We are gonna get so skinny." "Do you have the plague? You have to get the plague." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”