Oh, wait, I think I read that whole thing wrong. (Next time you get invited to a cocaine orgy, just go.)

May 2022

“Madison Cawthorn, a representative from North Carolina, lost his re-election bid in the state’s primary on Tuesday. Hopefully, he’ll learn his lesson: Next time you get invited to a cocaine orgy, just go.” —Seth Meyers

“You know, guys, politics is a rough-and-tumble business, and D.C. can be a cruel town. Just when you feel like you’re making headway in Congress, you’re unceremoniously forced out by a cruel and unforgiving system of cutthroats and back stabbers. And that’s exactly what happened last night when one of our nation’s most committed public servants, a camera-shy policy wonk who is laser-focused on serving the greater good, lost his bid for re-election. Oh, wait, I think I read that whole thing wrong. Oh, I read every word wrong. It was just Madison Cawthorn!” —Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump loyalist Madison Cawthorn was defeated in the North Carolina Republican primaries on Tuesday, which will end the 26-year-old freshman congressman’s scandal-ridden term in office. Oh Madison, you may be gone but soon you’ll be forgotten. Cawthorn, once seen as a rising star within the party, faced an aggressive opposition campaign waged by fellow Republicans disgruntled with his antics – calling the Ukrainian president, Volodymyr Zelenskiy, a ‘thug’, for example, as well as accusations of insider trading. I will say, it’s a rare treat to watch Republicans tear each other apart, because when Republicans decide to knife each other, they hold nothing back. Democrats just snipe at each other on cable news about who’s responsible for their poll numbers. They’re like the Wasp-y Connecticut family that just passive aggressively bickers at the dinner table and then goes to bed full of quiet resentment. Going from that to Republican infighting is like when you date someone whose family is Italian and you go over to their house for dinner and they’re just chucking plates of spaghetti across the room.” —Seth Meyers

“The last straw for many in the GOP was when, in a podcast interview in March, Cawthorn claimed to have been invited to cocaine-fueled sex parties by fellow Republicans. Normally I would’ve dismissed that all as ridiculous, except the GOP freaked out. Nevertheless, Cawthorn still received support from Donald Trump, who posted ‘let’s give Madison a second chance’ on Truth Social before the primary. ‘Let’s give Madison a second chance’ sounds like something you’d hear at a sorority after a pledge barfs all over the rug.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”