“But if Donald Trump does go back on Twitter, he’s going to need a phone, which he claims he doesn’t have. New York’s attorney general has ordered Trump to turn over four cellphones as part of an investigation into his business, but he’s claimed the phones are missing. He’s currently held in contempt of court at the tune of $10,000 a day. In addition, Trump says he hasn’t used email, text messages or a computer for work in more than a decade, and I actually believe that. Because I can’t imagine him sitting at a laptop doing work. Here’s how I bet Trump works: he probably has some former strip bouncer who works for him, named Vinny St Cleveland or Bobby Cabbage or something, who stands outside his bathroom with brief case of Diet Cokes while Trump shouts things like, ‘Put an offer in to buy the Indian Ocean!’ through the door. And then Vinny or Bobby will use a burner phone to call some Republican with an ulcer who has to explain that the Indian Ocean isn’t for sale. And by the time he gets done, Trump’s already asleep on the toilet. When he wakes up, it’s time to climb into the golf cart and eat a pie, right? That’s how it goes.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“There are reports that Joe Biden warned his national security officials that recent press leaks about intelligence sharing with Ukraine could further inflame tensions with Russia. So remember, the Ukrainian people have our full support, but if anyone asks, no they don’t.” —Seth Meyers
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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