he then drove away on a road that I assume he paved himself (six of which Ozzy remembers)

"Today, New York City is host to a very famous tourist. I am talking about Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadine-if you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere-jad. He's here for the U.N.'s annual General Assembly, but the big controversy, of course, is his stop at a college campus. He was invited to speak at Columbia University as part of their new lecture series, 'Why I Should Not Be Invited To Speak At Columbia University.' I was not at the lecture, but the man is a powerful performer. You have not heard him deny the Holocaust until you've heard him deny it live. I'm glad that he's here because he makes me angry, and there's nothing I like more than wallowing in my own anger." --Stephen Colbert

A tow truck driver in Asheville, North Carolina, who supports Donald Trump evidently stranded a disabled woman on the side of the road after he saw a Bernie Sanders bumper sticker on her car. Telling the woman that she was obviously a socialist and that she should call the government for help, he then drove away on a road that I assume he paved himself. –Stephen Colbert

"At the California Republican State Convention last Friday, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was forced to whip out one of his trademark cinematic gems, saying the Republican Party is 'dying at the box office.' And I take very seriously warnings about dying at the box office from the man who made 'Jingle All The Way.'" --Stephen Colbert

"TV's Tony Snow becomes the White House press secretary. How will he make the difficult transition from Fox News reporter to Republican apologist? President Bush, it is time to hire the folks who've never let you down. Limbaugh at Health and Human Services. Hannity at State. Then give Rummy the Medal of Freedom and install Bill O'Reilly as secretary of defense. Only problem, you might find yourself invading Vermont. And I'll replace Chertoff at Homeland Security. The man's done nothing to control the bear population." --Stephen Colbert

 

This weekend, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne said that they're getting a divorce. Ozzy announced the separation by biting the head off their lawyer. It's sad news. They were married for 33 years, six of which Ozzy remembers. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”