The judge also ruled that President Obama's Kenyan uncle is an amazing name for a band (Unemployment benefits)

December 2013

"Last week a man was locked in an airplane for several hours after he fell asleep during a flight and nobody woke up him up when it landed. But other than that, Joe Biden had a great trip to Asia." –Jimmy Fallon

"North Korea has confirmed that Kim Jong Un has fired his uncle. Unemployment benefits in North Korea include two weeks' severance and not being shot." –Conan O'Brien

"Some are saying that while at Nelson Mandela's memorial, President Obama flirted with the female prime minister of Denmark right in front of Michelle Obama. Man, if President Obama felt that the flight to South Africa was long, can you imagine the way home?" –Conan O'Brien

"A federal judge has ruled that President Obama's Kenyan uncle may remain in the United Sates. The judge also ruled that President Obama's Kenyan uncle is an amazing name for a band." –Conan O'Brien

"President Obama shook hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro. Or as Fox News reported it, 'Foreign communist shakes hands with the leader of Cuba.'" -Conan O'Brien

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